It Takes A Village

I was waiting in line for the only bathroom in the place. There was a little girl in front of me, probably about 10 years old. She went in and I waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally she came out. What I saw was most confusing. She had pulled out a long rope of paper towels, leaving one end attached to the dispenser, and had tied the other end in a knot through the toilet paper dispenser, blocking the toilet. It was odd. She knew I was waiting. She knew I would know who did it. And yet she made this weird art project or whatever it was.
I walked out, went over to where she was standing alone, leaned over and asked quietly why she did that. Her mom came over and asked what the problem was. I laughed and told her she needed to see this and took her to see what her precious angel had done. When asked why, her daughter replied she was playing CSI and planned on coming back to the scene of the crime with her camera phone to take pictures, and if there was time, she’d collect samples to analyze with her new CSI Crime Scene analysis kit she got from her grandma for her birthday.
Fearing she’d fingerprint me and run wants and warrants on me, I left.

Let Them Eat Cake, Let Them Eat More Cake

Happy Birthday to us! Everyone knows that calories consumed on your birthday don't count. I don't know what kind of cake Sue will be eating, but I've got chocolate cheesecake in the fridge and it won't last long! I'm gonna complete this protein by having tons of buttered popcorn at the theater while watching the movie. Then I'll come home and have more cheesecake!

Welcome to the Big 3 Conference

KU, K-State, Iowa State. Football playoffs will be at the local park. Get your tickets now. Seating capacity = 45.
Colorado is the first to leave the Big 12 for the PAC-10 conference. I imagine Nebraska will announce tomorrow or the day after. If that's all that leaves, then those two teams will be replaced. But I fear it's going to be a domino effect. Texas and OSU will follow no doubt, as well as the rest of the South.
Kansas shouldn't have any trouble shopping a new conference, if it comes to that, with a BCS bowl and national championship within the last three years; but still, it's a nervous time right now.

Driving Me Crazy

My driver’s license expires next week. I was going to wait until after my hair appointment next week to get it renewed, but today’s little errand changed that plan. I went to the bank to cash a check. They know me there. Maybe a little too well though, because when asked for ID and handing my license over, the teller reminded me that it is expiring this year, and that I should be glad to be getting rid of THAT picture. Bitch. I left there and headed straight to the DMV. There were no less than 20 people in line – mostly teenagers getting their first license. Some were over taking written tests and some were waiting in line for their driving tests, but all had nervous parents pacing behind them. Thankfully none of these people were turned away for failing their tests so the line moved fairly quickly and the crying temper tantrums were kept to a minimum. An employee came up from the back room to help with the lines and I was his first victim. He talked so fast and he’d tell me to do something but wouldn’t let me finish my answer before moving to the next question. It was odd. The renewal notice that came in the mail said to take in that notice, the completed written test, social security card, and proof of residency, and that I’d be asked to surrender my current license. I handed the guy my renewal notice and he had me read the eye chart. After I called out five of the twelve letters he herded me over to the picture. That was it. No other tests (and I studied too!), no opportunity to lie about my weight again, no surrendering my soon to be expired license. Guess he thought no one would want to use my old ID with THAT old picture on it.

This Just In

I’d like to think the things that come out of my mouth are the most important things to be heard at any given time. For weeks now I’ve laughed out loud every time I see the Motorola commercials.

“This just in via text and wall post, the search is on for cute boots.”
“Today’s top Facebook story, a local woman is totally psyched for flip flop weather. Twitter confirms.”
“Tonight’s top Twitter story, a man can’t decide on which sandwich to order for lunch.”
“A late breaking mass e-mail, a local woman’s cat is wearing rain boots. Facebook confirms story.”

I’m on Facebook. I just don’t get how it works though. There have been so many changes to this site that I cannot keep up. I cannot find any of my friends anymore. I don’t know the difference between news feeds or wall posts. I’m confused on the security settings too. Sometimes there are inside jokes only the family would laugh at, but my friends think I’ve lost my mind because they don’t know the back story. It’s overwhelming to me so I don’t post so much – unless it is to inform my friends that it rained so I didn’t have to wash my car today or equally important news.