Boom Boom Pow

Hatfields vs. McCoys; Crips vs. Bloods; Simon vs. Paula are all famous rivals. But they’ve got nothing on sports rivals. Cowboys vs. Redskins; Bulls vs. Celtics; Texas vs. Oklahoma are just a few. Speaking of, Oklahoma doesn’t have any supporters in our family. Texas will surely beat them in a big way tomorrow, and OSU won’t even nod in their direction when driving by.
Black Eyed Peas are opening for U2 in Norman, Oklahoma this weekend at the OU stadium. Nancy and Sue bought tickets months ago. Nancy graduated from OSU. Her dad taught at OSU. They are OSU people. So having to walk into the OU stadium is absolutely killing her, no matter how awesome the concert will be. I told her I’d help her out and go in her place so she doesn’t have to go through the anxiety of being in enemy territory for hours. I promised to give her the highlights. I’m that kind of friend.

Pageant People

I read where the current Miss Washington USA crowned the new Miss Washington USA – she happened to be her twin sister. I told my twin sister we soooo could have been back to back Miss Texas winners if it weren’t for the fact that we didn’t own bikinis. She reminded me that we also were missing the tiaras. Our talent would have been scratching and kicking. Whenever we fought as kids her nails would come out and in order to avoid her blood drawing claws I’d kick her a bazillion times to make her get away from me. Perhaps it’s not too late to go for the Miss Texas Mud Wrestling title instead. Oh wait, we still don’t own bikinis.

It Was So Cold ...

In honor of the cold temperatures (fourth day straight of 30 degree weather, brrrr!) here are a few of my favorite plagiarized cold weather sayings. Feel free to add your favorite…

IT WAS SO COLD …

· We had to push the house down the street to jump-start the furnace
· A flasher rushed up and described himself
· When we milked the cows we got ice cream (the brown cows gave us chocolate ice cream)
· Richard Simmons started wearing pants
· My dental fillings became dislodged due to the constant shivering
· My corn flakes turned into frosted flakes
· Tea cozies were being used for things that tea cozies should never be used for
· If you made an ugly face it stayed that way. I guess mom was right all along.

As Seen on TV

I got sucked in to one of those infomercials today. I can pick this product up at Target, but this offer is giving me an extra product for the price of one plus two extra gifts I cannot seem to live without. I read the product reviews online – all favorable. I made sure the site was secure. I made sure I was getting all of what they promised. I smiled at how smart I was for taking advantage of this great offer. I was so happy with myself right up until I pressed the final confirm button. Along with my confirmation number of my order came the postage charges for the first time – more than the product cost itself. What?! Unfreakinbelievable. No back button. No cancel order button. Just the confirmation. Shoulda known there was a catch. I’d tell you what the product is except my sister, who reads my blog, is getting the extra one for Christmas and I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Oh well. Lesson learned. I figure with the bonus items I’ve saved two bucks – enough to run up to Target after all and buy some chocolate.

GOAL!

Been seriously trying to lose weight for years and years and years and years. The more time that passes, the harder it has been to lose weight. I’ve been one pound away from goal weight for a very long time, going up and down a range of four pounds, but never hitting that magic number my doctor and I have set according to the BMI calculator. For a year now, my lipid panel results would make a teenager jealous (meaning I’m healthy) so all that’s left to do is to hit that magic number on the scale.
Went to the Texas State Fair two days ago and had to try the fried cookie dough with chocolate sauce, the chicken fried bacon, and the fried butter with cherry sauce. OMG! Heavenly. I knew I’d pay for it on the scale but decided to indulge anyway.
Today I got on the scale and not only did I hit the magic number, I passed it by another pound! I’m ecstatic. I should have tried the fried food diet months ago to get to goal! This is huge for me! Just don’t take blood for a current lipid panel as there is so much grease and chocolate still running in the veins right now.

Texting With My Brother

One of my mom’s best friends passed away this week. Sue and I met up in Dallas to drive down, and Glen drove up from Austin to the services near Waco. Sue and Glen texted:
Sue: I have Cindy and we are headed south in the truck
Glen: No texting while driving
Glen: In the rain
Glen: While putting on panty hose
Glen: While eating an Egg McMuffin
Glen: And putting on mascara

I text messaged with him:
Cindy: See you soon, be safe
Glen: No texting while driving
Glen: It’s not safe
Glen: Especially while changing into my suit
Glen: While driving 82 miles per hour
Glen: and shaving
Glen: While dancing to Earth, Wind, and Fire

That just ain’t right.