Friday, July 29, 2011

Chain Saw Massacre

My house was scheduled to be painted this summer, so I bought a chain saw in the spring. Made sense to me at the time. I decided to cut back the bushes for better access to the house. I was cutting the back of the evergreens in the front yard and found to my horror that they grew much like Donald Trump’s comb-over. I trimmed a branch from the back and the entire limb from the front came with it. It was wild. The before and after:



My backyard has always consisted of two trees with two bushes in front – much what a kindergartener would draw. I decided to build a garden wall around these trees forming one bed and added more plantings. I also put the chain saw to good use trimming tree branches. Before and after:



Have chain saw; Will travel. Let me know if you are looking to thin out your yard!

Monday, July 11, 2011

One of Those Days - All Week

It started with running errands around town. I came out of the grocery, loaded groceries in the back of the car and noticed liquid coming out of the wheel well. I put my hand in it and it was definitely gasoline. I called for a service appointment. The internet told me that since there were no dash board lights or messages that it was probably a small leak in the fuel line or gas tank and that I should have it looked at soon. I also knew everything on the car is still under warranty, so I wasn’t too worried. I was relieved to have made it to the dealership without needing a tow, although the check engine light had come on in route and I was getting nervous! I was given a loaner car from the service department.
When I checked my messages I noticed that the nice man who called didn’t laugh out loud; rather, he gently explained that I hadn’t put the gas cap on when I filled the tank up with gas, thus the leaking gas and smelly garage. He tightened the cap, reset the code, and my car was ready to be picked up. Man, did I feel stupid.
Which brings me to my next rant! WHY does the CHECK ENGINE light come on when the gas cap isn’t put on properly? To me (obviously a non-mechanic) when the check engine light comes on it exudes impending doom. It’s like a neon flashing light screaming, “Danger, Will Robinson!” not to be ignored. Forgetting to put the gas cap on should be a separate warning light or message. Especially since this is not the first time the check engine light has come on for me because the gas cap wasn’t put back on correctly. Yes, this has happened to me before. My car doesn’t do it’s checks and balances of the car though every time the car is started or else I’d have remembered that I had just filled it with gas. My check engine light didn’t come on until four trips later. Just sayin’…
So back to my little story…
I returned the courtesy car and got my car. I had dinner with a friend while in town and didn’t get home for hours. I didn’t realize I had left my laptop in the back of the loaner vehicle until I got home, hours after they had closed on Saturday. So I made plans to drive back to the dealership to be there when they opened this morning (Monday).
I woke early to thunderstorms. I got up and got ready for my 6am trip to the big city so I could be there when they opened at 7am to get my laptop. On the way out of town I decided to water the flowers on the front porch. I was turning the big flower pot on the porch when I saw something that made the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention and I froze so as not to make any sudden moves. I slowly walked backwards into the garage, got in my car and drove very far away, very fast. I was prepared to put a FOR SALE sign in the front yard today. Instead, I called animal control on the way to Kansas City and asked them to please remove the snake from my front porch. It’s solid black, about four feet long and a little bigger than a garden hose around – can’t miss it.
My laptop was right where I left it in the back of the courtesy car. I drove home and was greeted with a message from animal control that there was no snake on the porch when they got here. Great. I may just put that FOR SALE sign out anyway.


Monday, July 4, 2011

Text Messages

My friend sent me this joke today, and I can't help but post it here...

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and
more people who send text messages and emails have long
forgotten the "art" of capitalization.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack
off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse. "

Is everybody clear on that?