Building a Rep

The overnight delivery man will leave my package on the door mat, knock on the door, then drive away. I had just come out of the shower when I heard that familiar knock. I hadn’t ordered anything so I threw on some clothes to see what wonderful gift awaited. I threw open the front door, looked down, and saw the feet of my neighbor. He had come over to tell me he was back from vacation and to thank me for watching the house. I asked how his trip was and he nervously shifted his weight back and forth, stared blankly at the top of my porch avoiding eye contact, and mumbled quick replies. Obviously uncomfortable, he slithered down the walk to go back to his house.
I knew my wet, uncombed hair was a mess, but I was clean and smelled good, so I stepped outside to look up to see if there was a spider web or wasp nest in the corner of my porch. I didn’t see one so I couldn’t figure out what he had been staring at. As I looked around I saw a couple of other neighbors out shoveling snow. I waved and turned to go back inside. I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror by the front door. My pants hadn’t exactly made it all the way on. The pants I threw on had fallen down my hips, exposing all but my crotch of my purple and pink striped underwear.
I've already been to Kohl’s and bought snug pants that fit so that won't happen again. I wish my reputation of flashing the neighbors could be salvaged just as quickly and easily.