She Shoveled Snow

Spent the morning shoveling snow off the sidewalks and driveway. Did a great job and paused to admire my work when I finished. I came in to dry off, warm up, and eat lunch before going back out to do my neighbor's walk. By the time I got back out there the sun had come up for the first time this year and melted the snow in the neighborhood. Mother nature took credit for all my hard work so I turned around and came back in for more hot chocolate.

She Sheared Sheep...

Tyler took turns trapping and taming the next target taken.
Sue sheared sheep Saturday with scissors, not shavers, stripping skin.

Nanc never knew gnarly-necked Nigerian dwarfs need naps.
Glen got good at getting the grazing and gorging of the group!
Me? I wore gloves to be immune from wool allergies and bad tongue twisters! Sheep shearing is over for another year for Nanc and Sue. I’m no good at it, but I had a great time helping again this year. I’m still sore, so let’s not do that again for another year!

Hoops Update

My burnt orange sweatshirt was retired to the back of the closet again and my Kansas sweatshirts will be worn this week! And, I can relax because I know my brother and his family will have the proper attire to wear as well, thanks to the supply of KU t-shirts they got for Christmas from one of the best aunts in the world. I’m learning to post pics on my blog, so I’ll share their funny pic. No matter which shirt you are wearing or what hand signals you are performing, there is no doubt about it - Kentucky must be destroyed!

Well Dressed Aliens

A pair of socks goes into the washer, yet only one comes out of the dryer. I look, I look again, then I stick my arm all the way in and wipe my hand all the way around the drum in case static cling forced it to glue itself to the sides. When my search doesn’t come up with it I do the same manipulations with the washer. Nope. Gone. I go back to the dryer and take out the lint screen, like it chartered a bus during the cool down cycle to visit its cousins, also on the lint screen. It’s not about losing a sock, it’s about losing my mind. I’m saving the orphans just in case the ones that ran off show up. I feel bad for the lonely, mismatched socks. I picture their mates ran off for more exciting sock partners. They shimmy out of the dryer when I’ve got my back turned and the door open, and then slip under the dryer until the coast is clear making a run for it. Even now, the socks in my sock drawer are plotting their escape. If you see an alien wearing mismatched socks, please send them back to me. Their mates are waiting.

What to Wear

The day I dreaded has arrived. KU lost its first basketball game last night and it didn’t go unnoticed by the nephews. They both sent text messages that made me laugh, but as you know, I’m no good at trash talk so my replies were pretty lame. What do you say to, “Sooo um, KANSAS?!?” Our loss knocked us out of #1 and put Texas there. OSU is close behind too. It’s going to be a long, nail-biter season with those three teams playing so well. But I’m a good sport and vow to wear the sweatshirt of whatever team is on top every week. Today I wore my Texas sweatshirt. My OSU sweatshirt is clean and ready in the closet too. Just don’t tell anyone that I’ll always have on my KU jacket over my sweatshirt!

Chilly New Year

It’s a cold Friday. We had three feet of snow and ice from the last blizzard and got a foot more two days ago. Plus temps below zero. Is there a difference between minus one and minus sixteen degrees? Feels the same to me. Three pair-of-socks again today. Schools have been cancelled for days and churches already have announced closings for day after tomorrow. The city has been working round the clock to clear the streets, but the ice melt they use doesn’t work in sub zero temps, and they are running out of sand. They did manage to clear one lane of the highway each direction, but have to shut it down every couple of hours and clear the pile ups that happen from blowing snow and snow drifts. We won’t be above zero again until Monday. We won’t be above freezing for days longer. I’m in good shape (I can live on popcorn and hot chocolate for months) but it’s days like this I consider moving to warmer climates.

2009 - Out

Two more inches of snow last night, making it almost two feet for the week. The city was clearing our street first thing this morning, so I got out and got my tamales, corn bread, and black-eyed peas for New Year's Day - no worries. Since we will get to single digit temps tonight for a week, any ice, snow, or sludge left on the sidewalks or driveway will freeze and never melt, so I got out and finished shoveling when I got home from the store. Lots of neighbors were out doing the same thing. I got to meet the new neighborhood dogs (animals, not people) and catch up on the gossip. Food, bath, then bed for me!
Be safe tomorrow and have a Happy New Year!

Sports Melding

Texas has it wrapped up in NCAA football. Hook ‘Em Horns! Go Orange! January 7th is gonna be a great game!
Now, let’s talk NCAA basketball! I was pretty sure Kansas had it locked. But now I see that both Texas and Oklahoma State are also doing well. Might have to work for it a little harder than we thought, but I’m still cheering on KU! Rock Chalk Jayhawk!
For fun, I got Glen, Cheryl, Dillon, and Tyler all KU basketball shirts for Christmas. I wanted them to have something to wear during basketball season. I also got them electronic gizmos as well because I’m pretty sure they’ll just wear the shirts as pajama tops. Christmas Day I got an email from them. They were wearing their KU shirts while giving the Texas Longhorn finger salute, the sign of the horns. I laughed so hard. Hook ‘Em Jayhawks! Or is that Rock Chalk Longhorn?! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!

I’m not into any of the holiday football bowl games. I’m waiting for the January 7th Texas game to get excited again. Until then, I wonder…
Who would win a football game between drumming drummers and piping pipers? What about swimming swans and laying geese? Calling birds and French hens? I’d get me some wassail and figgy pudding and watch that.
We’ll have a white Christmas with about 5 inches of snow by the morning. Great weather to curl up with a good book and have a fire in the fireplace. Almost all the Christmas Eve services and activities have been cancelled already. I sure hope Santa doesn’t cancel his rounds. I’m putting out the milk, gingerbread men, and reindeer treats just in case; but don’t expect me to save any chocolate chip cookies for the big guy as I’ll be eating those after I shovel the walk.

Last Minute Christmas Chaos

Who waits until the last minute to START their Christmas shopping? Certainly no one I know, but if I did know someone like that, I offer some great advice:
First, give up the idea of finding the perfect present for anyone. Of course, if you’ve waited until Christmas Eve to start shopping then you probably already have. Tell yourself it’s the thought that counts and repeat until you believe it. Then try one of the following quiet, peaceful places guaranteed to avoid the other crazed shoppers.
Hardware store – For women get the framed artwork, poinsettia or silk tree, the tabletop fountain, or power tools. For men, get lots of shiny gadgets that light up and make noises.
Movies – give the gift of a good time in movie passes.
Pet Supply Store – dog squeaker toys or cat themed cards that could be framed for the wall.
Hair salon – haircut or manicure gift certificate.
Gas Station – for the really desperate – they sell sunglasses, wireless accessories, lottery tickets, or candy.
Video store – for the desperately desperate – they stay open late and sell movies and games.
If you cannot get out due to weather or you suffer from severe procrastination, you can always use your computer to generate gift certificates for anything and deliver by e-mail.
Finally, just buy the kids a set of batteries and attach a note saying, “Toys Not Included”.
Then you can loudly proclaim that you are finally ready for Christmas with an hour to spare!

Don't Mess with a Wrestler's Aunt

My nephew wrestles better than your nephew.
It’s a new sport to me, but I’m learning quickly as Tyler does better and better. Basically, you try to get both of the opponent’s shoulders on the mat at the same time for two seconds. I get that. It’s all the stuff that happens trying to get that done that I’m not real clear on.
Each wrestler wears the same outfit – a singlet, shoes, and a helmet to keep the brain guts intact. They have to play both offense and defense and be good at both. It’s not like football where you’ve got six deep in each position either offense or defense. The scoring depends on falls, escapes, reversals, and other positions you must be good at; and somehow the wrestlers know if they are suppose to be getting into or out of these positions. I just look for my nephew to pin the guy. He’s quite good at it. And even though there are lots of weight classes, he has to wrestle man-child folks who weigh 50 or more pounds more than him. Finally, each wrestler must bring a cloth to the match to wipe any sweat and blood from the mat after the match. Ick.
You can get up now. The match is over. And I can open my eyes again.

Snow!

I live down the street from a school. When there is snow or sleet, the streets by me are plowed and sanded first so the buses can get the kiddos to school on time. It was wicked cold today – between 0 and 7 degrees all day. I was out shoveling the sidewalk when school let out and some kids walking home commented on all the fresh, white snow in my yard. They asked if they could build a snowman and I said sure. As they ran all over the yard getting mounds of snow together, I stole what I could and began making a snow cave. Then I hid inside and peeked out long enough to throw the first snowball in our massive, mondo snowball fight! Other kids joined in, mostly ganging up on me, but my little cave gave me adequate shelter from the bumps and bruises the other kids no doubt now have. They never did finish the snowman, and I never did finish the sidewalk. Instead, I opted for a soak in the tub and hot chocolate. The kids said they were telling their friends to come over and do it again tomorrow. The sun is coming out tomorrow and the warmer temperatures will probably melt most of the snow by the time school gets out, but I’m stocking up on hot cocoa and cookies anyway. And Ben Gay ointment.

Looking Good

I’m still recovering well from surgery. Glen drove up to look at me. We went to the KU men’s basketball game. KU put up 36 unanswered points, 1 short of the NCAA record for most consecutive points in a game. The final score reflected a 67 point victory, which was the third largest margin of victory in KU history, and the 31 points the opponent did score were the fewest allowed by a KU team in Allen Fieldhouse. Granted, their opponent was ranked 347 out of 347, but KU still played like the champions they are. We went to dinner after the game and watched Duke lose by one point. Great night of basketball, burgers, and brother’s visit!

The Day After

Twas the day after Thanksgiving
And all through the mall
Lunatics were stirring;
A real free for all.
The decorations were hung
Throughout the mall with care
Been up since before Halloween
Alongside the pumpkins, turkeys, and the Hanukkah bear.

Hey, it rhymes. Kinda like the Hanukkah armadillo from Friends.
Bad poetry aside, I was out there with them. Everywhere I went people were well behaved and friendly. Except we made fun of the folks wearing matching holiday shirts and Santa hats. That’s just wrong. Those folks are serious shoppers and I kept my distance from them. They had pre-coordinated their movements like a dance troupe – one grabbed the cart, two ran ahead and grabbed boxes of electronics, holding them up for scrutiny by the head elf in the group who decided if it made it into the cart or back on the shelf, and one held a place in the check-out line. I imagine they had been camping outside for at least a day and a half. I wasn’t as organized and came home after my big purchases of delicate wash things for myself and a corn dog. You just don’t get these kinds of encounters with on-line shopping.

Holiday Cheer

I love holiday movies. Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen them. Year after year I love to watch them all. I started watching them yesterday and am so happy to have them while I’m being a slug on the couch. But that means my sister has to watch them too. She’s ready to poke her eye out. Or so she says. But then she grabs the remote and rewinds the movie to see the parts she may have missed if she gets a phone call or leaves the room to fetch me something. She can go on with her bah-humbug self. I know just the thing to cheer her up – more holiday movies! The next time she leaves the room I’m grabbing the remote and will set all the movies to record on the DVR so we have an endless supply! Ho Ho Ho!

For the Boys

I was sent home from surgery with 4 drains. These are plastic bulbs at the end of a long tube. One end of the tube is deep inside my body and the other end of the tube has the bulb attached and the bodily fluids (mostly blood and tissue) collect in the bulb. Another thing Caregiver Sue must do is empty and measure each bulb and record it’s output and color. My nephews would be fascinated with this stuff. Right up their alley alongside poops, farts, and snot. Sue and I have become quite well versed on the red family – red, fire engine red, cranberry, burgundy, coral red, crimson, chestnut, scarlet, and sangria. Today we have moved into the pinks, oranges, and clears: dark pink, amaranth, cardinal, fuchsia, magenta, maroon, mauve, rose, violet, terra cotta, and vermilion. The content of the bulbs gets more gunked up as the days pass too. Eventually I get all the drains removed. Then it’s back to talking about poops, farts, and snot with the nephews.

Sharing the Loopy

I think my sister has been sampling my prescribed narcotics. She’s making me a protein shake now and laughing hysterically to herself. She said, "get out the whey” then went into gangster rap about “Git out da way!” She’s cracking herself up. Then as she is moving around the kitchen, trying to find stuff she laughed that wicked witch laugh and said, “oh it’s pay-back time”. Apparently I emptied her dishwasher once when I was there and she couldn’t find dishes for weeks. She’s threatening to rearrange and hide stuff in my kitchen. I’ll let her have her fun now, but, if she touches my chocolate and moves it to a place I cannot find, then she’ll be needing more than prescribed narcotics to recover. Just sayin’.

Walk, Sip, Walk, Sip, Repeat

The biggest things I have to remember to do now are to walk, which promotes healing, and to sip fluids, which keeps me hydrated. Well, that’s the instructions all the medical folks have told me about. Personally, I’d add the pain pills to the very top of that list, but I’m just the patient.
Anyway, as soon as the nurse said I could get up and walk, I did. Sue was there in the room and helped the nurse teach me how to get out of bed (now I know where the expression “rolling out of bed” comes from!) and I walked from the bed to the door of my room. Sue always makes things a fun game and she said I had to touch the door before going back to bed, so I did. The next time I walked I went down the hall and touched the door at the end of the hallway before going back to bed. After shift change another Nazi nurse made me walk a big lap around the floor, but she described the paintings on the wall as we went. The wife of one of the doctors painted a bunch of them and they were abstract, yet if you studied them you could see candles in one, eyeballs in the next one, and I think I saw the Lochness monster in another. When Sue came in, she made me get out of bed and play “hide from the nurse”. She made me walk laps on the floor, but she ducked us down hallways we weren’t suppose to be in so the Nazi nurse couldn’t find us. Sue’s got my back!

Popsicles and Percocets

I had elective surgery Monday. Sister Sue came up to be with me and will stay to take care of me. I came through the surgery in great shape. They give good drugs.
Waking up afterwards was fun. In recovery I remember waking up hungry and thirsty. My lips were chapped and my throat dry from the tube in my throat. The nurse asked if I wanted crackers and 7-up. I just said, “Run.” The nurse said, “Excuse me? Did I run here? Yes, I just got here.” Sue just stood there laughing because she knew what I wanted. She knew I wanted food and water NOW and I meant the nurse should hurry and run and get those for me right away.
Sue’s been a great help and I couldn’t have done it without her. She helped me eat my dinner of Jell-o, lemon ice, and sprite zero. There was broth, but it was really salty so I only had one bite of that. She’d never fed anyone that had their eyes closed the entire time, just barking orders as to what the next bite should be. That’s how I roll.
I graduated to a cheese omelet for breakfast and club sandwich and chips for lunch. I guess they got tired of feeding me cause they sent me home after lunch. Sue has set her alarm to give me pain meds. There’s been lengthy discussions with Cheryl – who has the medical background and first hand knowledge from her broken leg – about when and how to give my pain meds. Whatever was decided upon it is working! Sue sets her alarm and gives me my pain pill, a drink, and crackers before recording it in the log and going back to bed. I can’t seem to get comfortable enough to sleep yet, but that was an expected problem I knew I’d have to deal with. I’ll fill the time up by writing incoherent blog entries. The pain is indescribable. There’s a reason we have no vocabulary for such pain. I guess it’s like giving birth – it hurts now, but you forget the pain and go through it all again with another child. I have 3 more procedures I want to have done and while I’m trying to talk myself out of them because of this big pain, I know I’ll do them anyway – many, many years from now. Well, I guess I could move it up if I could find chocolate covered pain meds. That would make it all worthwhile.

Fact or Crap 3

We played a modified version of the Fact or Crap game last night. Z-man read the questions aloud and we each just yelled out “fact” or “crap” depending on if we thought the statement was true or false. It was late and we were exhausted from a day of tailgating and football. I kept yelling out “don’t give a crap” for my answer – I was tired. Glen was snoring in between questions, then would rouse long enough to mutter “fact” or “crap”. We were all amused by this, and it got funnier when he actually got them correct. I went to bed early and still am wondering if titanium is the hardest natural substance in the world. Well, according to my nephew, his poop might qualify for that title. Sigh.