Shopping Cart Whisperer

Be it the big box store or the grocery, I always seem to get the cart with the squeaky wheel or the lopsided handle. Sometimes you can prop the droopy side up while walking through the aisles and the squeak almost goes away. But if you don’t load the cart with enough weight throughout, you must hold up one entire end of the cart while trying to walk normally to avoid the racket. On those days I usually abandon my list, grab whatever is within arm’s reach, and head directly for the checkout lines. I then wheel the cart out to put the groceries in my car, and as soon as I lift my bags out of the cart and am focused on getting them in the trunk, the shopping cart becomes incredibly light and begins to roll and pick up speed across the parking lot. My purse is still in the front of the cart, so I drop my bags (eggs crash to the ground first of course) and take off running in the direction of the unmanned, runaway cart. I inevitably stumble and fall, scraping my hands and knees, and watch as my cart hits the vehicle patiently waiting for my parking space. Depending on how much of a hurry this person is in and how much blood is involved, I either get a sympathetic nod from the driver of this now dented vehicle because they've been in my shoes before too, or I get a hand gesture too vulgar to describe here. Either way, I wish there had been a class on handling such life issues in school.