Saving the World by 8 am

Swapping watermelon and sand castles for protractors and thesauruses: It was the first day of school for the nephews yesterday. Cheryl took an awesome picture of the boys. Somehow she got them to stand next to each other and even smile. I’m guessing she told them the fly on their pants was open or resorted to some other form of bathroom humor. Getting everyone up and out the door deserves massive kudos. Parents must act as alarm clocks, get breakfast, make lunches, get clothes ready to go, pack backpacks or slings, and act as alarm clocks again – basically save the world by 8 am. And they repeat this process every day, all school year long.
I still remember some of the feelings of the first day of school - the smell of chalk, new shoes, lunch boxes and new bottles of glue; the nervousness at who will be in my home room class; wishing I didn’t get the mean old math teacher; and the exhilaration of swapping summer adventures with friends I hadn’t seen in months.
Hoping it’s the best school year yet!

All Quiet on the Midwestern Front

While in Stillwater a couple of weeks ago, we went down to Sue’s neighbor’s because they had their miniature horses out in the yard. They let us go in and pet them. The picture shows me, Dillon, Tyler, and Cheryl petting one wisp of a pony.
Also while in Stillwater, Dillon and I went into a bookstore in search of the All Quiet on the Western Front book because he has to read it for school. Dillon went to the Classics aisle to find it, but couldn’t remember the author. I found someone to help us. She looked it up and couldn’t find it in the system. She walked over to Classics and started reading each and every title. Dillon and I just rolled our eyes. She went back to the computer. This time Dillon and I watched her type All Quite on the Western Front. Lots of CD titles came up, but no books. I told her to try spelling “quiet” instead of “quite” and spelled it for her. Dyslexia set in and after the fourth time of trying to get her to spell it correctly I finally convinced her to press enter after typing “all quiet”. Whadya know. It came right up. It only took twenty minutes to run this three minute errand, so we had a good laugh.
I bring it up now because that title comes to mind now that Tyler has gone home. It’s mighty quiet here and I miss having one or both of the nephews around. They’re fun and don’t mind if their aunt hangs out with them. Soon the routine of school, homework, and sports will take over their energies; but I’m glad to have been able to spend some time with them as the summer winds down.

Talladega Day

Note: Tyler is my special guest blogger today! He helped write the following entry. Thanks Ty!

Tyler kept telling me he “wants to go fast” (from the movie Talladega Nights) so we found an indoor go cart track to play on today. This track was fast. He hit the wall a couple of times and spun out a couple of other times. Once he hit the wall and thought the go cart was going to flip. Another quote from the movie came to mind, “I’m flying through the air… This is not good!” He recovered nicely, but even after his ride was over, he was a bit shaky.
We also hit Dave and Busters. One game was Wheel of Fortune. A giant wheel rotates and when you press the stop button the wheel stops on ticket values. Most of the values are 3 inches wide with 10 or 20 tickets as the prize, except there is one 1000 space about an inch wide on the wheel, so you try to land on that one. Tyler stepped up and the first spin hit one to the right of the 1000 ticket space. He went again and it stopped one to the left of the 1000 ticket space. The third time he hit the 1000 ticket space! It was so exciting. The machine actually counts out 1000 tickets, one at a time. One, two, three, four, five, etc.
I played Deal or No Deal. You pick one suitcase from 16 suitcases with values ranging from 2 to 300 tickets. You want to pick the 300 ticket suitcase to win. Deals are made in the process of opening the suitcases you didn’t pick, trying to convince you to settle for less tickets, but I was feeling lucky and said, “no deal” throughout. I picked the 300 ticket suitcase and won!
By now Tyler wasn’t so shaky anymore and offered to drive us both home. Right, like that’s gonna happen. Better stick to the track instead of the highway!

The Other Boy

Tyler flew up from Austin to visit me this week. His flight was delayed, which turned out to be a good thing. Construction on the turnpike was down to one open lane, but then a truck caught fire which closed the turnpike for over an hour. I was pretty sure Tyler would welcome the chance to run loose on the streets of Kansas City, causing mayhem and chaos in his wake. But when he did call me, he was still sitting on the ground in Dallas. Weather had cleared there, but the backup of planes trying to take off was causing delays. Whew! I met his plane with plenty of time to spare, thus beginning the fun and joviality.
We went to Schlitterbaun Waterpark. This is the third Schlitterbaun Tyler has been to. I’m told this one isn’t as big as the one by his house, but bigger than the one he visited last week. He likes all the rides and slides. The lazy rivers are all different. One is a real river with rocks and trees; one is a concrete walking path with a current pushing you along; and the one we went to yesterday had two lazy rivers. They were both the concrete path type with a current, but one of them also had giant waves every 15 seconds that added a bit of nausea to your floating experience, especially if you just ate.
We ended our day at Tyler’s pick, Olive Garden. We got our fill of salad and bread sticks, so we brought home the pizza to reheat for breakfast. I asked the waitress to take our picture with my camera phone, but I can’t find it. There is no proof that the boy got here, or that I’m feeding him. Perhaps when he gets home the proof will have to be his sunburn and dirty laundry.

My Brother's Keeper (And Their Aunt's Too!)

While in OK, the nephews and I swam. They wanted to wrestle in the pool. I told them the rule was they couldn’t hold the other underwater because they would die. After watching for a bit I gave them one more rule: no hitting in the face or anywhere else that Cheryl could see a bruise because they weren’t wearing head gear. They agreed to the rules and wrestled. They were really wrestling, not just hitting whatever they could reach. They both had great moves and were very good. I think I had more fun watching them than they had playing in the water.
We all returned to our respective homes today. When unloading the car, I discovered something one of my nephews left in my car and texted Cheryl to tell her I’d send it on. Shortly thereafter Cheryl texted me. She found something I left in her car. Seems I need a keeper too, but I'm in good company!

Celebrations

Today is my brothers’ birthday! Yep, you read that correctly – brothers’, not brother’s. My brothers were born four years apart on the same day. And with my twin sister, mom always boasted that 4 kids and 2 birthdays was her version of Planned Parenthood.
Anyway, Glen is working today, but the rest of his family and I are visiting my sister in Oklahoma. Tyler was at wrestling camp at OSU all week. Cheryl and Dillon came up a couple of days early to pick him up, and I came down to crash the party. We saw Tyler wrestle, we swam, we played cards, we played glow in the dark miniature golf, and ate lots of pizza. We even saw some miniature horses at Sue’s neighbor’s. I don’t know how Glen celebrated his birthday today, but the rest of his family had a wicked fun day!

Red, White, Blue, and Rainy

The annual bike race was this weekend. All ages and all bikes were there. The kids bike races were fun to watch. All the bikes were decorated with stars and stripes in red, white, and blue. No one puts playing cards on their spokes with clothespins the way we did when I was a kid. Instead, more attention to what they are wearing is given. One kid dressed up as Elvis – sideburns and white silk jumpsuit. Most had the statue of liberty hats on. All had flags. Some parents ran alongside their kid during the race. The three year old winner of the 50 meter race just smiled and nodded to the crowd from his Big Wheel. Minutes later, the five year old winner of his age group’s race was asked his secret to the win – intense training, a good breakfast, family support? “My bike is just fast” was all he said.
It’s pouring down rain now so most everyone has gotten out of the rain and is watching the fireworks display on the local TV station from the dryness of their sofas. But if we were still downtown, we would be eating barbecued meats with all the usual side dishes, singing The Star Spangled Banner:
Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light…
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave…
PLAY BALL!

It Takes A Village

I was waiting in line for the only bathroom in the place. There was a little girl in front of me, probably about 10 years old. She went in and I waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally she came out. What I saw was most confusing. She had pulled out a long rope of paper towels, leaving one end attached to the dispenser, and had tied the other end in a knot through the toilet paper dispenser, blocking the toilet. It was odd. She knew I was waiting. She knew I would know who did it. And yet she made this weird art project or whatever it was.
I walked out, went over to where she was standing alone, leaned over and asked quietly why she did that. Her mom came over and asked what the problem was. I laughed and told her she needed to see this and took her to see what her precious angel had done. When asked why, her daughter replied she was playing CSI and planned on coming back to the scene of the crime with her camera phone to take pictures, and if there was time, she’d collect samples to analyze with her new CSI Crime Scene analysis kit she got from her grandma for her birthday.
Fearing she’d fingerprint me and run wants and warrants on me, I left.

Let Them Eat Cake, Let Them Eat More Cake

Happy Birthday to us! Everyone knows that calories consumed on your birthday don't count. I don't know what kind of cake Sue will be eating, but I've got chocolate cheesecake in the fridge and it won't last long! I'm gonna complete this protein by having tons of buttered popcorn at the theater while watching the movie. Then I'll come home and have more cheesecake!

Welcome to the Big 3 Conference

KU, K-State, Iowa State. Football playoffs will be at the local park. Get your tickets now. Seating capacity = 45.
Colorado is the first to leave the Big 12 for the PAC-10 conference. I imagine Nebraska will announce tomorrow or the day after. If that's all that leaves, then those two teams will be replaced. But I fear it's going to be a domino effect. Texas and OSU will follow no doubt, as well as the rest of the South.
Kansas shouldn't have any trouble shopping a new conference, if it comes to that, with a BCS bowl and national championship within the last three years; but still, it's a nervous time right now.

Driving Me Crazy

My driver’s license expires next week. I was going to wait until after my hair appointment next week to get it renewed, but today’s little errand changed that plan. I went to the bank to cash a check. They know me there. Maybe a little too well though, because when asked for ID and handing my license over, the teller reminded me that it is expiring this year, and that I should be glad to be getting rid of THAT picture. Bitch. I left there and headed straight to the DMV. There were no less than 20 people in line – mostly teenagers getting their first license. Some were over taking written tests and some were waiting in line for their driving tests, but all had nervous parents pacing behind them. Thankfully none of these people were turned away for failing their tests so the line moved fairly quickly and the crying temper tantrums were kept to a minimum. An employee came up from the back room to help with the lines and I was his first victim. He talked so fast and he’d tell me to do something but wouldn’t let me finish my answer before moving to the next question. It was odd. The renewal notice that came in the mail said to take in that notice, the completed written test, social security card, and proof of residency, and that I’d be asked to surrender my current license. I handed the guy my renewal notice and he had me read the eye chart. After I called out five of the twelve letters he herded me over to the picture. That was it. No other tests (and I studied too!), no opportunity to lie about my weight again, no surrendering my soon to be expired license. Guess he thought no one would want to use my old ID with THAT old picture on it.

This Just In

I’d like to think the things that come out of my mouth are the most important things to be heard at any given time. For weeks now I’ve laughed out loud every time I see the Motorola commercials.

“This just in via text and wall post, the search is on for cute boots.”
“Today’s top Facebook story, a local woman is totally psyched for flip flop weather. Twitter confirms.”
“Tonight’s top Twitter story, a man can’t decide on which sandwich to order for lunch.”
“A late breaking mass e-mail, a local woman’s cat is wearing rain boots. Facebook confirms story.”

I’m on Facebook. I just don’t get how it works though. There have been so many changes to this site that I cannot keep up. I cannot find any of my friends anymore. I don’t know the difference between news feeds or wall posts. I’m confused on the security settings too. Sometimes there are inside jokes only the family would laugh at, but my friends think I’ve lost my mind because they don’t know the back story. It’s overwhelming to me so I don’t post so much – unless it is to inform my friends that it rained so I didn’t have to wash my car today or equally important news.

Part of the Journey

My brother rides a Harley. He and my sister-in-law both enjoy riding. They gear up in dew rags, leather chaps, gloves, vests, and helmets and ride as often as their schedule and the weather permits. They talk pipes and flames. They collect Harley pins and t-shirts and stories of the folks they meet on their rides. They have fun.
Glen has taken the last couple of weeks to ride around the western US, hitting 24 states and seeing the sites. He stopped by my house today. I've kept him up too late and he’s exhausted already. He’ll put up a post on his blog soon, so for now I’ll just say he got here and we both had steak for dinner and we had a nice visit. I got to see his pictures too. What an amazing trip. I was surprised to learn he took some from the motorcycle while moving. They are clear and good. They all tell a story and I’m so glad he’s been able to share his trip adventures through his blog.
I want him to be comfortable and that means the thermostat is on 68 degrees. Don’t worry about me – I’ve got on jeans, a sweatshirt, and two pairs of socks. His ceiling fan is on full blast as well. I guess he’s used to being on the motorcycle with the wind blowing back his hair – wait, that’s not right with his bald self – er, I mean, he’s used to the wind blowing into every orifice of his body keeping him chilly cold and frosty. I’ll just throw another blanket on the bed and think warm thoughts. It’s been a fun day and I’m glad he stopped by!

Consciousness - That Annoying Time Between Naps

Always up at 3 am for some strange reason. It’s been this way for weeks now. I’m tired and grumpy and want to sleep, but that doesn’t happen. So instead of fighting it I get up and do laundry or cook and freeze meals. Tonight I’m catching up on my DVR shows and blogging about nothing. Maybe Sue will let me come to her house and count her sheep. Problem with that is she’ll make me figure out which are goats, ewes, lambs, or rams first, and that just makes my head implode. So I’ll stay here and warm some milk. I’ll put chocolate in it and maybe find a cookie or two to go with it. Eventually I will sleep and anyone that disturbs my sleep will get hit with a stick. According to Glen, folks sleep while driving in Oregon – head back, mouth open, eyes half closed, driving 70mph. Perhaps I should fly to Oregon and rent a car to get some rest.

Lions, Tigers, and Shopping - OH MY!

Took advantage of the Mother’s Day sales weekend and went clothes shopping today. My wardrobe for the past few years has consisted of mostly jeans and t-shirts of the places I’ve traveled to, both long and short sleeves. I knew I’d have to protein load before I left for the mall, and I’m glad I did! I picked out two tops I thought were cute and found an associate to ask if she thought these tops would launder well (I don’t iron). She gave me “the look” (you know the one – she sizes you up and down with a snarl on her face) and she said, “well, this one is a pajama top, and the other is a sundress.” What?! Clearly I needed more help than just directions to the dressing rooms. I thanked her for her advice and slithered off, determined more than ever to find just one top to buy. I finally found one top I thought was age appropriate and would be fun to wear. I looked up and saw a poster on the wall of Brittany Spears straddling a chair wearing the exact top I picked out. I knew I was in trouble then. So I went to the jewelry counter and bought earrings. Sigh.

May the 4th Be With You

My friend Denise wrote that on her Facebook status today. I spewed my drink. Funny, funny! Happy Star Wars Day! I shall celebrate by making laser and light saber noises with my mouth, “Pew! Pew! Pew!”
May the 4th is one day before May the 5th, Cinco de Mayo. I’ve spent lots of time thinking about all the Mexican food I’ll be eating. Tacos and guacamole are my favorites and I’m pretty sure chips and queso will be involved as well.
Whichever holidays you choose to celebrate, do it with Force, Spicy Chilies, and Chocolate!

Blogiversary

My blog is officially one year old! Special thanks again to Sue and Cheryl for nudging me to start blogging. After a year of blogging I’ve learned that I still have nothing of note to say. But thanks for stopping by and reading anyway. Today’s blog entry will be a story I’ve told over and over but never blogged about. Now it will live in infamy:

Little brothers were born to be picked on by big sisters. I took my job as big sister seriously and was good at that aspect. Relentless and constant. Plus, my little brother had two big sisters to pick on him. Doubly blessed that one.
As adults we are supposed to be beyond all that. But somehow I could never think of him as a mature adult, making decisions in a responsible and reasonable manner. Until the day we walked into a t-shirt shop at South Padre Island…
Shortly after Cheryl had Tyler my brother brought Dillon, then two years old, to the beach when I was there. We walked into a t-shirt shop and immediately my giant brother got down on one knee, eye level to my nephew and said, “I need you to keep your hands to yourself while we’re in this shop. There are lots of little trinkets and shiny objects that I know little boys want to touch and play with; but I need you to put your hands in your pockets, don’t touch anything, and stay close to me while we are here.” My nephew put his hands in his pockets and skipped behind my brother shopping for t-shirts.
I almost cried right then and there. My little brother had grown up and was a great dad and didn’t need my teasing or pranks.
Nana nana boo boo.

Techno What?

worked in the yard 4 the 4th day in a row and got beds cleaned out and fresh mulch spred. rain on da way and rushed 2 finish. made it b4 1st drops hit ground. whoo hoo!
ll!!ymmjbetsmote. that don't mean nothing - i'm practicing my technospeak. did ya notice the non-capitalizations? trying to be grammatically and punctuationally incorrect on purpose. how will the next generation communicate with ours? maybe the library offers classes. otherwise i'm learning slowly. some of my fav's:
ilum - i love you man
ign - i got nothing
gwhtlc - glad we had this little chat (huh? were we chatting?)
but my all time favorite is sh^ - shut up (which i will do now)
ttfn (look it up)

Lucy and Ethel

Under the category of TMI, all my male relatives should move along now and not read this blog entry. You’ve been warned. Keep moving. Nothing to see here guys…

Jugs. Twins. Double Whoppers. Yep. Talking about the boobs. I’ve never had ‘em, but I do now! We’re quite a pair now because I’m a boob too. But geez. Neither Sue nor Cheryl warned me about the side effects of big boobs. I can never sleep on my stomach again. I get rashes under the girls when I sweat. While they make great jogging partners they sometimes pull ahead and I trip over myself trying to catch up with them. I can use them as a sweater stretcher, but never know if they’ll stretch to a larger cup size or a longer cup size. Wondering what else I don’t know about these new mysterious appendages. I’m thinking I should add them as additional residents to my census form (along with the voices in my head of course).

The Easter Bunny Found My House

I'm disappointed that I didn't jump up off the operating table from this surgery feeling grand. I'm right where I should be in my recovery, but still fighting pain, itching, and brain fog. I don't do a whole lot (which is exactly what I should be doing) and I've let things slide - like checking the mail weekly instead of daily.
Imagine my surprise and delight - truly the highlight of these past couple of weeks - when I checked my mail on Easter Sunday and found Glen and Cheryl’s family calendar! I was so touched and happy that I busted out crying. Yes, my hormones are out of sync, and yes, I cry at the Budweiser commercials too.
Anyway, every one of the pictures in the calendar is awesome. Dillon and Tyler are growing so fast. They probably hate that I say that. And they’d hate it more when I say how good-looking they are. And they’d cringe if I said how proud I am of them that they are growing up to be fine young citizens. So I’ll just take them over the edge and say how fun it is to be their aunt.
I shall go now and admire the pictures again and the memories associated with them while finishing off the other ear off of my chocolate bunny. Happy Easter!